“Stark Raving Fan” is a column about one man’s love for all things involving popular culture – television, movies, and all facets of pop culture from here to there. Of course, it’s not the kind of love that unites a group of people like a bunch of hippies. More like the kind of love someone has when they’ve blown a gasket and have something to say. After all, aren’t we all just driven mad by fanaticism sometimes?
I gotta admit, though I had opening weekend tickets to see Ant-Man and The Wasp: Quantumania in theaters, I can’t say that I was overly excited to see the latest from Marvel Studios. And that comes from the very man who’s been giddy like a circus clown with each new MCU entry for years now. (Minus Moon Knight, but that’s a very lonely mountain on which I reside.) Reputable film critics lauded the sequel as outrageous, bonkers, madcap, hilarious, and a worthy start to Phase 5. The trailers just didn’t show much to stoke my inner fanboy fire, that’s all. Of course, I ended up dead wrong about my impressions. Quantumania was a Goddamn blast from start to finish to me.
And yet, even though the word of mouth had been exceptionally strong, the stans of the Interwebs held a secret meeting from basements. (Stan, noun: to exhibit fandom to an extreme or excessive degree. Superfans who always claim that they’re right and you’re wrong.) What was the discussion? To see what could be done to degrade the flick’s reviews and turn people away from their theaters? Nuke the critics score on Rotten Tomatoes, drop their cynicism on social media, and attempt to get people to question if they want to see Marvel’s latest in theaters to?
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, ding dongs – that plan didn’t go over so well, did it? I guess $225 million worldwide is really an embarrassment for Marvel Studios! (Considering the previous entries, that box office gross actually ain’t.) All that flagrant hatemongering is really going to stop the Marvel Machine!
Uh, wrong.
Question for those drinking that frothy Granny’s Sweet Peach Tea. (If you’ve seen Batman Vs. Superman, you know that is not tea in the jar.) Why in the hell do you expect each and every new Marvel project to have Avengers-level stakes and consequences, huh?
In all honesty, Phase 4 was an absolute hot mess in parts, like Brittney Spears free from her guardianship-type of hot mess. I can understand Phase 4’s overall theme was how people deal with their grief and loss. From a plot point-of-view, none of the stories were cohesive with each other either. I mean, outside of WandaVision and Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, nothing else went hand-in-hand. The stories were all self-contained, much like Phase 1 was back between 2008 and 2011.
Just because Marvel Studios created the gold standard doesn’t mean there won’t be hiccups. For every Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, there’s a Thor: Love & Thunder. No one is perfect, mistakes will be made, and lessons will be learned. At the end of the day, Kevin Feige is human. Y’all worshipped the ground beneath him for Spider-Man: Far From Home, yet will crucify him at any slightest complaint. And he’s heard you for the most part. The post-credit scenes will demonstrate purpose going forward. Additionally, we’re not going to be overwhelmed with new content regularly, with only two Disney+ shows dropping yearly.
Everyone wanted quality over quantity. Now you’re going to get what you bellyached about. So Marvel Studios got a bit too big for their britches. Even the top dog has to check themselves before they wreck themselves once in a while. Having said that, let’s circle back to Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania to bring this all home. Those nitpicks I keep getting force-fed like foul guacamole? Let’s address those right quick. Because, like Charlie Cale in Poker Face, I call bullshit.
The fact that casual movie-goers are believing some of this horseshit baffles me. No one trusts verified critics anymore, nope, we have to take the word of the superfans who swear they know what’s best for us all. (But they don’t. We know this. Case in point – Snyder cultists. I see you, and I still see your bullshit.) Now, some of the complaints I’ve heard, I can see that point of view. Uneven script and character? Okay. This is Jeff Loveness’ first major blockbuster he’s scripted. But some of the other grievances being lobbed sound like observations made from those who haven’t even seen the movie. The biggest criticisms?
THE CG IS TERRIBLE. THERE ARE NO STAKES OR REPRECUSSIONS. KATHRYN NEWTON HAS NO CHEMISTRY WITH PAUL RUDD. YOU CAN SKIP THIS MOVIE AND NOT MISS ANYTHING IN PHASE 5.
Now, I watched Quantumania via a 4K projector at my local theater and I think the CG is actually pretty damn fine, even over many of Marvel’s previous films. Alright, so MODOK is rough around the edges, but the backgrounds are lively, rich, and articulate. Besides, I’m not seeing a film in a theater for CG – I just want to have fun by the time the credits roll. And the whole Kathryn Newton claim is gobbledygook too. What, are stans upset because Marvel recast the character? Happens more often than you think. Get over yourselves. Her and Rudd work great off each other’s riffs and familial moments, plain and simple. (Did anyone of you even see Ant-Man and The Wasp? That was more, as the kids say, cringe.)
Oh, and the stakes? And fallout at the end of the movie? Maybe I saw a different movie last weekend – no, actually, I didn’t – but Kang’s stratagem for leaving the Quantum Realm? It’s thrown right into your face halfway through the movie! Like, throwing a banana cream pie Three Stooges-style right into your kisser. Plus, the last several minutes of the movie monologues the consequences out loud. Multiple times, in fact, and enough to make you ask yourself, what’ll happen to our heroes next? What, do we need blinking signs in movies now to tell audiences these plot points?
Yes, you can be frustrated and disappointed. After the last couple of years’ worth of projects, I’m feeling a bit underwhelmed myself with Marvel. I think the amount of content that Marvel Studios dropped was overkill. But shifting back to focus on delivering top-notch content is a huge start for Phase 5 and beyond. Quantumania is not going to break down barriers and change the game. Sure, the movie’s not all kittens and rainbows and marshmallows. Peyton Reed’s sequel lays the groundwork for what’s to come with Kang, and that’s what matters most. Job well done, despite what the goblins are attempting to perpetuate.
Bitch and complain all you want. Try to turn people away so a movie loses money and the press run with the wrong headlines. Sometimes, movies aren’t made to appease uber-nerds. Feature films like Quantumania are pure popcorn fluff meant to push our worries into the background for a couple hours. If you don’t like it, well, I have some sound advice for you and don’t cost anything.
